Duky: Yo B, whatcha doing?
B: Nothin' right now, but that's gonna change soon..
Duky: Why? Sumthin's on TV?
B: You bet. 


Untypical Tournament 3000

Welcome to the tournament of the millenium. A tournament which brings together the best fighters 
from across the galaxy for your entertainment. Please give a warm welcome to your today's hosts: 
Caith Sith and Sephiroth..

-Sephiroth w/ micro: Hello sports fans. Did you ever wonder how it would look like if your 
favourite characters would duke it out in one gigantic tournament?
-Caith: I bet they did Sephy... But we're here on just an occasion. We are the witnesess of 
THE event of the century, no, the event of the millenium so I'm sure you'll all find 
out right here in a few moments when the first opponents will step into the ring... 
-Sephiroth: Well, Caith, you're known because you usually exaggerate, but this time you're right.
The fighters are extremely well trained and highly motivated.. Fabulous prizes await the winner
and everybody will have their chance... The tournament is based on the model of winner/looser bracket
so even if a fighter looses a battle he still has a chance to win. It's also important to say that
the battles will be held in arenas chosen by the fighters and which arena will be used is decided 
by a coin toss.. So let's get ready for some special and untypical battle enviroments.
-Caith: Thank you for explaining the basic rules to the viewers, Sephiroth. We will fill you in 
about the special rules during the fight, hovewer the duelants will have to find out for themselves.
-Sephiroth: Yeah, it wouldn't be as much fun if they knew beforehand. But let's get back to the 
actual situation at the stadium. I can already see some signs of activity down there. Looks like
the first combatants are preparing for the battle.
-Caith: And right you are, Sephy. The referee is right now deciding the arena by a coin toss.. and...
it looks like the arena will be.. Green Island.. The arena is being created by our ultra-modern
3D Holographic Arena creator which gives a overwhelming feeling of reality... and here are coming 
the combatants...

					SON GOKU VS PIKACU

-Caith: The first to enter the ring is SON GOKU. The always eating martial artist is coming from 
a line of Sayajins.. Trained on earth by his martial arts teacher, Master Roshi (Roshi in audience 
waves with his arms showing everybody, that he is the master) Being a Sayiajin, Son Goku is a 
natural-born warrior. He is extremely fast, strong and his techniques are based on the KI power... 
I'm sure he is one of the favourites of this tournament (seeing countless fan-girls waving with 
banners like "I love you Goku", "I want your Baby" and such.) and I'm sure he'll give his opponents 
a run for the victory. But let's not jump the gun, instead let us introduce his opponent..
-Sephiroth: His opponent in this match is the wannabe Pokemon Master from Alabastia Ash with his 
electric rodent Pikacu. Here are some similarities of the both combatants I preapared.. Ash as well
as Son Goku likes eating over everything. Their IQ is almost on the same level... That means they are 
both blockheads.. However, Ash has Pikacu. This gives him the intelectual edge over this battle.
-Caith: Even though both of them may not be very smart, at least their techniques and their sense 
for strategy are well developed so we can prepare for an interesting match.
-Sephiroth: And the referee already calls them into the middle of the ring.
-Referee: I want a clean fight, no ear biting or tail grabing, understand? 
The referee follows Gokus glance to see him looking at Pikacu's tail.
-Referee: UNDERSTAND? 
-Goku: Oh.. All right... What did you just say?
The referee just shakes her head. "Shake your hands and come out fighting."
Goku shakes Ash's hand and they both step back a bit, Goku assuming a battle stance.
-Ash: Pikacu, get ready.
-Goku: Well let's see what you are made of. 
With that he launches himself at Ash with his fist aiming for his head.
Ash obviously surprised by this manages to duck in the last second with Goku flying over his head
and missing him only by centimeters. "What the? Hey, you're not supposed to attack me."
-Goku: Why?
-Ash: Well I'm the trainer, you're not supposed to fight the trainer.

-Caith: Somebody ought to tell Ash this isn't the Pokemon League anymore.
-Sephiroth: Do you think so? 
-Caith,Sephy: Nah!

-Goku: so you're telling me that I should fight with this little rodent here? You're nuts.
Goku launches just another attack at Ash.
-Ash: Pikacu! Thunderbolt!
-Pikacu: Pika-cu!
A flashy yelow thunderbolt strikes Son Goku in mid-air shocking him strongly and leaving him 
crisped on the ground.
-Pikacu: Pika-Pika-pi-pi-cu!
-Ash: Yeah, that's for calling Pikacu a rodent.
Goku forces himself back on his feet. "What the hell.. was that? Thunder in the middle of a sunny
day?" He looks confused at the holographic sky over the arena.

-Caith: How long do you think it will take him to figure it out?
-Sephiroth: Aww, he isn't THAT stupid.
-Caith, Sephy: Yeah, right..

-Ash: So you have enough already?
-Goku: Ha, one little shock won't stop me.. Now try to hit what you can't see.
Goku disappears before Ash's eyes. He appears only now and then in different places of the arena.
-Ash: You're not the only one who can do that.. Pikacu! Agility!
-Pikacu: Pika!
In the same moment Pikacu disappeard Goku slamed his fist on the ground where Pikacu was standing.
Suddenly Goku is surrounded by two dozens of grimacing Pikacus.
-Goku: Hm.. not a bad trick (grin), but you obviously forgot I can sense my opponent. 
KAME.. He puts his hands together and focuses the energy.. HAME.. a little ball of energy starts 
to grow in his hands... HA! An energy ray shoots from his hands at the real Pikacu.. the reflection
of the white energy ray which is closing in is seen in Pikacu's eyes and everything goes white..

-Sephiroth: Yipee, Goku seems to have finally blown the little rodent to smithereens.
-Caith: Hey, Seph it's nice to see you being so objective. But.. wait.. there's something flying 
through the air... Can we get a close-up on that.. yes.. it's just as I thought... Pikacu. Pikacu 
seemed to nimbly dodge Son Goku's Kame Hame Ha in the last second an now is flying directly at Goku!
And Ash already has a plan.

-Ash: Pikacu! Thunder!
-Pikacu: PII-KA-CUU!
A massive thunder-bolt strikes down from the sky and directly on Son Goku. Son Goku crispy again 
falls to the ground with jolts of electricity running trough his body. 
-Ash: Yeah! We did it. Where do I get my badge?
Ash starts to perform a victory dance, meanwhile behind his back Goku slowly pulls himself together: 
-Goku: You.. won't win.. this easy!
Ash stops his dance and turns around to see a pissed Son Goku emitting a glow around his body.
-Ash: Shit! 
-Goku: Now it's my turn.
Goku charges Pikachu and attacks it with a blur of punches and kicks. 

-Caith: Wow. Ladies and gentlemen can you see that.. Goku really means business.. He is forcing Pikacu
to retreat and is landing a couple of hits.. 
-Sephiroth: Well it's about time he started to dish out some damage. 
-Caith: You're right Seph, we wouldn't want another Freeza Saga, would we..
-Freeza in the audience: Hey you got something against me? 
Suddenly a black clothed ninja drops from the ceiling a cuts Freeza in two halfs.
-Caith: That man ought to get a medal.

Goku ends his combo with a powerful punch, that sends Pikacu flying over nearly a half of the arena. 
-Ash: Hold on Pikacu! 
He sprints out and catches Pikacu in mid-air, making a roll on the ground, slamming his head into 
a rock, falling three meters deep, sliding down a hill and through a patch of thorny bush, gets pecked
by a swarm of birds, tackled by a footbal team and kicked by an angry mob, then finally stops hanging 
on a cliff. Holding on with one hand, Pikacu in the other hand.
-Ash: Pikacu, are you all right?
-Pikacu: Pi-ka
-Ash: Should we give up? 
-Pikacu: PI? KA!
-Ash: You're right we won't give up... we are gonna win...
He pulls up with one hand and puts Pikacu on the ground. They both start to walk towards Son Goku
who is a good 100 ft. far..

Goku pulls out his staff placed on his back and makes it grow... He slams it with one end on the 
ground creating a little earthquake and throwing Ash and Pikachu off their feet... but they get up
and continue to walk towards him.

-Caith: What courage, what strong-will...
-Sephiroth: (eating cheese) What taste..
-Caith: Stop nibbling on THE Cheese
-Sephiroth: Mmhm.. why?
-Caith: Because I said so.
-Sephiroth: And who are you to tell the Great Sephiroth what to eat.
-Caith: ...You stink.
-Sephiroth: So what?
-Caith: I really mean it.. That cheese awfully stinks.
-Sephiroth: Get used to it it's my favourite. (grabs the Masamune and slices the cheese in mid air, 
catching it with his mouth)
-Caith: (Sweatdrop) Let's get back to the fight, shall we?
-Sephiroth: MHhm owkay..

Goku continues to shake the ground with his staff, but accidentaly knocks Ash's cap from his 
head. A dramatic moment.. Cap falling into the dust... 
-Ash: Noo!!!
Ash slowly picks up the cap.. Dusts it off and puts it very slowly on his head... then raises
his head to reveal fire burning in his eyes... 
-Ash: You fiend... You're going down! Pikacu! Attack!

-Caith: There seems to be a tight emotional bond between Ash and his Cap.
-Sephiroth: He really should get a chick.
-Caith: Look who's talking, Mr. Playboy.
-Sephiroth: Reeve... ah forget it..
-Caith: You know that I'm right.
-Sephiroth: At least *I* don't play with stuffed toys.
-Caith: Hey..

Somewhere over the arena..
-Jesse: What a great opportunity..
-James: To steal Pikachu...
-Meowth: Right. we only have to grab it.. It's so weak from the fight, it will be a cinch.
-Jesse: Maybe we can even steal the tournament prize.
-James: Do you know what the prize is, Jesse?
-Jesse: No, but it must be really expensive.
-Meowth: I know what it is.. But I'm not going to tell you. We could have signed up for the 
tournament though.
-James: But we always loose, we are such loosers.
-Jesse: Not this time.. We'll grab Pikachu and the prize.. I have a plan. Hand me the binoculars Meowth.
-James: Jesse, do you really think we can make it?
Jesse looking through thee binoculars: "Don't worry James, this time we will... ooh"
-James: What, what do you see?
-Jesse: Let's get down there.

The battle is raging on.. Goku is jumping from one place to another, evading Pikachu's Thundershocks
and Ash's Pokeballs.

-Sephiroth: Son Goku should be a new Pokemon? Don't make me laugh.
-Caith: Moreover it would be pretty damn tight for him in the pokeball.. 
-Sephiroth: How do you know?
-Caith: Do you think he would fit into that small ball?
-Sephiroth: Sure. Bet a pizza?
-Caith: It's a bet. I'll show you that it isn't possible.

Suddenly a Meowth balloon appears over the heads of the combatants. A mechanical hand grabs Pikachu
and Jesse on a bungee rope grabs Son Goku.

-Jesse: How do you do handsome?
-Goku: I'm sorry lady, but I'm in the middle of a match, would you mind letting me go?
-Jesse: No can do sweetheart, James gets Pikachu, Meowth gets the tournament prize and I will
get you as a prize.
-Ash: It's Team Rocket again, but why did you leave out the introduction?
-James: It's our special plan, we simply used the element of surprise.
-Meowth: I wonder why we didn't do it like this before? If you two wouldn't always introduce yourself
we could have Pikachu in the bag a long time ago.
-James: Important is that we have Pikachu now, so let's get out of here...

In the background Caith is throwing Pokeballs at Sephiroth... Sephiroth, laughing, bats them off 
with his Masamune.

A small figure steps out of the audience holding a bazooka on her shoulder.
-Chichi: Hey what do you think you're doing bitch? That's my man you're all over.
With that she shoots a shell right at the balloon. Meowth and James fly right into the sky. The 
mechanical arm releases Pikachu and Ash again catches the yellow mouse. The balloon falls down 
covering the combatants under it. Ash and Pikachu are the first to get from under it. 
-Ash: Pikachu come over here, I've got a plan.
He whispered some words into Pikachu's ear and the electromouse nodded.
Goku after some problems also got out from under the baloon, with Jesse still clinging to him.
-Jesse: Oh it was so romantic to be with you under the baloon.
-Goku: Lady, I'm sorry but Chichi won't be really happy if she sees you holding onto me.
-Chichi: You bet your ass on it Goku.
Chichi crept up on them from behind and threw herself at Jesse pulling her to the ground. Both 
now rolling around in the dust biting and scratching each other. 

Meanwhile in the background Caith holds a opened pokeball over Sephiroth's head and tries to stuff 
him into it. Sephiroth defends violently.

Son Goku, free again, looks around to see where are his opponents, but Ash and Pikachu waited for
just a occasion.
-Ash: Pikachu! Thunder Wave!
-Pikachu: Pika-cu!
A pack of yelow thunderbolts started to circle and envelope Goku striking his muscles lame and putting
him into a state of half-paralysis

-Caith: (Eating a slice of pizza) Lucky guy, he just got rid of that woman and he is paralyzed 
once again.
Sephiroth with pokeball marks all over his head: "Oh, shut up!"

-Goku: Ahh, I can't move my arms. You cheater.
-Ash: We're not cheating, this is a pokemon-league-approved move.

-Half-mechanical repaired Freeza in audience: Yeah, you sissy, now who's the big chief? Feed him 
to the dogs. No feed him to the rats.. No, feed him to the..
Suddenly a wire drops from the ceiling, hiting Freeza in the head and short-circuiting him. Then a 
black clothed ninja pulls him up and dissapears between the girders.
-Caith: You know, I start to develop a liking for that guy.

-Goku: This.. fight..ain't over yet.
-Ash: You can barely stand, you really should give up.
-Goku: You.. should know.. better than that.. I.. never.. give up.
Just then the arena-simulated evening changed into a night and the full-moon started to rise on
the horizont.
Goku felt hypnotized looking at the white ball in the sky his body slowly moving into a trance.
He started to grow, until he became a Monster Ape. Hairy, with big fangs, two stories high.
Even though Goku's body changed the paralysis was still present. The sudden change made the ape
loose balance and fall down with its full body weight, crushing Ash and Pikacu who were standing 
there unable to move.

Sephiroth: I do think we have a winner.
Caith: Are you sure?
Sephiroth: Hmmm... yes quite positive.

Referee: And the winner is Son Goku!

Caith: Goku clearly won by technical pan-caking his opponent. Ash seemed to be a little surprised 
there don't you think, Seph?
Sephiroth: Yeah, he just saw what will happen to him after he reaches puberty, who wouldn't be shocked?
Caith: So Goku is in the next round and Ash with Pikachu are moving into the looser bracket, that 
means as soon as we inflate them.
Sephiroth: 


At the same time in the outskirts of the stadium area.
James: Jesse next time you'll want to distract the combatants you'll just strip naked and run through
the arena with only a Nixon mask on like I suggested in the first place.
Jesse: .. (Smacks him upside his head.)